Wonder -- (a church newsletter article based on the movie)
This past weekend I saw an excellent, family-friendly movie,
that I highly recommend, called “Wonder.” It’s a fictional movie about a young
boy who is born with numerous facial deformities, including cleft palate, and the
enormous challenges he and his family face upon his integration to mainstream
schools in the 5th (or 6th?) grade, after years of
homeschooling and protection. He had undergone numerous surgeries, and so his
face was significantly scarred—such that children stared at him or bullied him.
Despite the weighty topic, it manages to be a very humorous movie, as little by
little the boy, “Auggie” overcomes his fears, learns how to cope with the cards
life dealt him, and to make friends. It’s a very uplifting movie, but there’s
another aspect about it that made me want to write this newsletter article.
In the movie, you naturally sympathize with the boy and his
family’s struggles. But through the storytelling technique of the film, and how
it rotates through the perspectives and mini-stories of each of the main
character, you get to see a much more complete picture of the situation. You
see the character development of individuals, and how at first, you might have
judged them for being selfish, hurtful, or mean—each had their own unique
struggle. But the kind of sympathy that you develop is not approval for the
selfish, hurtful, or mean things that they did, but rather an appreciation for
how the combination of vulnerability, self-deprecating humor, and strength of
Auggie helps them respond in various transformative ways (or not). You cheer
for the growth of the characters, even while you disapprove of their bad
choices.
In seminary, we learned about a similar idea, related to
preaching God’s law. I believe they referred to it as the “mirror of
existence.” The idea is similar to how Jesus taught His parables. There is a
story in which you can identify with one, or even many of the characters, and
you see your own sin and failings mirrored in them. It’s a startlingly
effective way to discover things about ourselves, and sins and attitudes that
we should repent of, that has been used to great effect in many profound novels
and stories.
Real life is not scripted like a movie plot or novel, with
everyone making the kind of mistakes that we find understandable, and then
learning from them. Sometimes there are acts of pure cruelty, and we are left
with no way to fathom why, and there is legitimately no excuse for them. But
when we are able to stand before a “mirror of existence”—whether in a well-told
story, or in a parable or passage of Scripture—we are often able to see our
insecurities and ways of thinking and acting, and how they affect others. But
how often do we strenuously avoid looking at ourselves in the mirror, and
instead try pointing the mirror at other people’s faults? St. Maximos the
Confessor wrote: “He who busies himself
with the sins of others or judges his brother on suspicion, has not yet even
begun to repent or to examine himself so as to discover his own sins.”
St. James, the brother of Jesus, wrote: (1:22–25) But be
doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who
looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at
himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But
the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres,
being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his
doing.
Jesus said: Luke 6:37–38 37
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be
condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; 38 give, and it will
be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over,
will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured
back to you.”
While real life doesn’t offer us the opportunity to get
inside the heads of every “character” in the midst of a difficult solution, so
we have a semi “omniscience” to understand why people act a certain way--real
life does offer us a different solution, proposed by God: “Let every person be swift to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger”
(James 1:19). The more we listen, the more we can understand others, and
hopefully work toward reconciliation and friendship, rather than isolation and
resentment and enmity. The more we slow our speech and slow our anger, the
lesser risk that we will damage good or fragile relations, or end them
altogether.
What should one do, who has stood before such a mirror of
existence, and discovered the ugliness of their own sin? 1 John 1:8–9 If we
say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we
confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse
us from all unrighteousness. What should one do, who has taken the time to
listen to another person, and begins to relate with or sympathize with their
struggles? We can love our neighbor as ourselves—showing the compassion and
friendship that Christ has given and shown to us. Enmity is the province of the
devil—stirring up division. But peace and reconciliation are the province of
Christ. And Christ has granted us His peace, by forgiving our sins and
reconciling us to God and to one another. May God grant that we are a part of
that spreading work of reconciliation! After all, He has made us “ambassadors
of Christ” and given us this ministry of reconciliation! (2 Corinthians
5:18-20).
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