Funeral sermon, Isaiah 42:3, Romans 6:11, "Alive in Christ!"

**This funeral message was given after one of our church family took her own life. The names have been removed for family privacy. We, along with many others urge those who are experiencing suicidal thoughts to reach out to someone and ask for help--a pastor, teacher, mentor, friend, counselor. There IS HOPE, though depression can often cloud us from seeing it. Do not be ashamed to ask for help. The Lord be with you!**

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. [Names of family]…when Jesus was going away from His disciples, He said: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27). Today let’s explore and absorb His peace, peace that is unlike anything the world can give—Jesus’ transcendent peace. With that peace in our hearts we need not be troubled or afraid. Because today our hearts are weighed down by a raw grief—our beloved sister in the Lord, [name]  , is dead. And doubly painful, she took her own life.

Suicide—sometimes the word feels like a taboo, a topic we can’t talk about, or a stigma and shame that keeps us silent when we are hurting. Feelings we hide from others, for fear of judgment or discovery of our weaknesses, or some other reason. But we must be willing to break that taboo and speak about this topic, to do everything we can to stop this preventable cause of death. From the year 1999 till 2016, suicide rates have been increasing in 49 of 50 states, and the 50^th already has a higher than average level, according to the Center for Disease Control. It’s being called a public health crisis. A bad, growing problem. But behind every statistic is a person and a story. And [name] is not a statistic, she is your beloved wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, coworker. All who knew her knew that she was a kind and special friend. Sadly, she was troubled by many of these suicidal thoughts that tempt so many others.

She, [name] and I had a lengthy conversation about these thoughts just the week before she took her own life. She agreed that it was a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and not the right solution. She agreed that she didn’t want to hurt anyone else, and she knew how much [name] and others loved her, but she seemed numb to comfort. We didn’t know how far she was made up in her mind to do this. She also feared that she had become too weak in her faith, and didn’t know how to hang on the Christ. We reassured her again and again that God has her securely in His arms, and that it wasn’t on her strength, or the strength of her faith that she is saved, but on Christ, our Solid Rock.

If you struggle with suicidal thoughts, please, we beg you, speak to someone, so you can receive help, love, and hope. [name], we have said many times since this happened, that there was hope surrounding [name], but she just couldn’t see it—not because people weren’t surrounding her with love, prayer, and encouragement—they were doing all of those things—but this dark cloud was hiding that hope from her eyes. She agreed, when we talked, that it’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and that it’s wrong. But she was also overwhelmed by life, by the battle that she appeared to be losing against cancer, and her own fears. Sometimes, in that dark place, people entertain dark thoughts that maybe this their only escape from all the stresses and difficulties (it’s not), or that things would be better if they were gone (in reality, it leaves a painful, gaping hole in our lives). These are the conversations we need to have, so that no one suffers silently or alone, or thinks that there is no help or hope for them. There is always help to be had, and hope to be found, if nowhere else, than still always in Jesus. Even if there is no medical hope for us, there is hope in Jesus. Even if there is no peace that the world can give us, there is the peace that Jesus gives, that the world cannot take away from us.

We are also here to say that God has forgiven [name] for taking her life, and we forgive her. [name] has forgiven her, and we confess that it wasn’t on the strength of her struggling faith but on the strength of Jesus, that she is saved, and is now resting from her sorrows, and joined in the peace of God’s eternal presence. God made [name] His precious child in the waters of baptism, where He called her, and He placed His holy name upon her, and adopted her as His precious daughter. God has not left [name], even through all this horrible ordeal that she went through, and you, the survivors are still going through. God’s promises to [name] stand true, regardless of whatever weaknesses she had. God did not abandon her.

One of the Scripture verses we often talked about, was Isaiah 42:3. It describes God’s chosen servant Jesus. He would not break a bruised reed, or put out a dimly burning wick, but will faithfully bring forth justice. What is a bruised reed, or a dimly burning wick? It’s a person whose faith is in a crisis, like [name], who is hanging by a thread, or a candle flickering and ready to go out—the embers of flame are darkening, and the light is almost extinguished. But how does God treat such a person? Does Jesus snuff out the weak in faith? Does He break the bruised reed? NO! This wonderful verse tells us that Jesus is near to the broken, the suffering, the discouraged and defeated. When Jesus came on earth, His life was marked by compassion, and a special attention to those who were hurting. He was near to [name].

And so it is with our faith, when we are weak, He is strong. And thanks be to God that it’s not the strength of our faith, that saves us, but the strength of our Savior, and the goodness of His promises and faithfulness. Another verse we often discussed over the past year, was from Romans 6:11, “So you must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.” I often ask people at church, and several times asked [name] and [name], “Why does it say: ‘You must consider yourselves…?’” It’s because we have a problem thinking this way. Our experience, our observation, often leads us to think otherwise. We feel as though sin is winning the battle in us. We fear that somehow we are not worthy enough, or deserving of God’s grace, and that we somehow should be able to do something more, that would qualify us, or make us at least feel that we could accept that grace from God.

But the truth is, that none of us are deserving or worthy enough! That’s the miracle of God’s grace! It’s not about what you’ve done or earned. [name] knew this in her heart, I heard her admit it. Many of you, no doubt also were touched by her strength of faith and witness to the Lord, in her better days. She knew the grace of God. But how often sin battles against us, and we begin to doubt whether we are really dead to sin, and alive to God in Christ Jesus. But Paul knew we have a problem thinking this way. We know that life assaults us with all kinds of hardships, and the devil will do anything to sow doubt and fear in our minds. For this reason Paul writes “You must consider yourselves dead to sin, and alive to God in Christ Jesus!” Why must we think this way? Because it’s true! Because, as the early verses read, we have been buried with Christ Jesus by our baptism, into His death, and we are raised to new life in Him, in the same way! God has objectively done this for us. Our feelings become the enemy of the truth, when they tell us otherwise than God’s Word and Promises. Faith calls us to believe His promise, and not believe our deceptive feelings. This is why we have to tell ourselves again and again, the Truth of God’s Word, and reaffirm those promises.

[name] is a beloved child of God, a daughter of her heavenly Father, a baptized child of God, and an heir of Jesus’ promises. The grief she carried in these last weeks and months of her life, is a grief that we were unable to lift—but it was not too great for God to lift. And He has now lifted that grief from her. Jesus promised whoever believes in Him, even though they die, yet they shall live eternally with Him. [name] has His promise of the resurrection of her body on the Last Day. A body free from cancer, from sin, from illness, sorrow, or any other grief.

As the family and I talked about this loss and grief, I also want to share with you this closing thought. Here is my question: “What is a scar?” A scar, simply, is a healed wound. We are all experiencing an open wound right now—we didn’t get to say goodbye to [name]; we wish we could have said or done more, or that we had known; we ache for her pain and fear that drove her to this, and wish that somehow we could still express our love for her. These wounds are fresh. But there will be healing for these wounds.

Do you know what Jesus did, when He died on the cross, and rose again from the dead after three days? He went and visited His disciples. Their wounds were still fresh, the grief of seeing their beloved Lord die that awful death on the cross. Jesus is no stranger to sorrow. But when He appeared to His disciples, He showed them His scars—nail marks in His hands and feet. The spear wound in His side. Healed wounds, that were proof of life and proof of identity. One writer has called Christ the Wounded Healer, echoing the words of Scripture, that “by His wounds we are healed.” What are we healed from? Most importantly, we are healed from our sins—all the great and small wrongs, rebellions, hurtful words or actions that we have done—all the dark and troubling thoughts we have ever nurtured and allowed to grow within us, all our doubts, weaknesses, fears—Christ heals them all. He destroyed the curse of sin and death by His own death, so that He could bring upon us His true healing—that we would be dead to sin, and alive to God in Him. By His wounds, we are healed.

And as Christ is the Wounded healer, so also He has made us to become little “christs”—Christians, who are also wounded healers. If we have open wounds, come to Christ, receive His healing, open to His Word and prayer, speak to a trusted Christian friend, and find the healing that is in the wounds of Christ. And we also each have scars, healed wounds—physical, spiritual, emotional or mental. And with our scars, we can also help others heal as we relate to them with compassion from our own healed wounds, and point them to the scars of Christ, our Great Wounded Healer. For we confess that [name] is alive with Him. We are alive with Him also! Dead to sin, and alive to God in Christ Jesus! Amen!